Eyes (Dissipation of Grand Illusions, Part III)

You’ve seen me scared: empty, alone.
You’ve been there when I’m on my own.
You took my hands, moved them.
You took my plans, proved them
As false;
Futile.

I have to get back.

You stole my eyes, stole marriage’s surprise.
You took my mind, changed the kind
Of things I think of; I can never un-see
What you’ve shown me.
And some days I don’t want to.

I was a child, you a storm.
Made me wild, deformed.
You were a beast,
I was your feast;
Fed on me like a parasite.
Raped my eyes.

Porno, how you’ve got a hold on me.
Porno, you never told me
It would be this way.
Porno, I gave it all for you:
My time, my mind, my soul too.
Porno, what a real woman wants
Isn’t what you’ve shown me, but that haunts
My every thought.

I need to get back.

Every woman I meet
Is an object, something to defeat,
Something to abuse, something to use.
We treat them like toys.
It’s normal; boys will be boys.
Never men, because we’re boys.
But boys will one day die,
And have to look in the eyes
Of the women they objectified.
I’m terrified.

Porno, I’m never going back,
Am I?

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